WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
