I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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