I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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