I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
