sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
