I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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