Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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