But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Duck Duck Cougar?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
