im drinking this country out of the recession.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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