The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
They have beer where we have blood.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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