It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
