hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
