That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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