just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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