escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
