She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
