we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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