well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
