He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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