so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
