end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
