So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
