This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
