I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
