i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
