We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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