I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
