I'm lost and stupid without you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
They took my balls.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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