I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
