Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
