I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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