Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
