the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I got inside last night via doggy door
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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