She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
