just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
