I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
