16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
