If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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