That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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