Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
