my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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