Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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