I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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