I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
