All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
