Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
