Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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