never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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