hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
