I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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